So I'm reading a book by TD Jakes called "The Lady, her Lover and her Lord."
The book is to offer inspired advice for women who want to enrich their relationships with themselves, their men and their God.
Now, even though this is geared towards women I honestly think a lot of men would love this book. I think it would help them to understand a good woman's heart a little better. I could be wrong but I think Bishop Jakes adequately speaks for Men, the things they need and want etc.
For example he talks about things such as if a woman wants her man's love, if she truly wants to protect his heart like we all should (as his rib) then she must first earn his trust. Not just in the sense that she will never cheat on him but he has to trust her not to run and tell all of his business to her friends. Which I personally always thought was foolish anyway. That's his business, not theirs. He also has to trust that she won't change. Men like to know what they're getting.
My Great-grandma passed that down to her girls. She told us "You start out the way you can hold out." If you start a relationship one way such as catering to him, picking up after him and the like, don't change the game 3 months in. Now you're giving him dirty looks cause you don't wanna pick up his drawers. "Start out the way you can hold out."
But back to Bishop Jakes...He goes on to say how if a man's trust is violated he shuts down. We all know men communicate differently so he communicates how he feels by the fact that he will just shut down internally.
There is so much more to this book but I really wish I knew some men who'd read it just so I could get their opinion on it.
For instance: Did you know that apparently most men hate satin sheets? Bishop Jakes hilariously clarifies how men can't seem to get their ...purchase or balance on satin sheets, 8 )
If you've read it, pls share your thoughts.
The book is to offer inspired advice for women who want to enrich their relationships with themselves, their men and their God.
Now, even though this is geared towards women I honestly think a lot of men would love this book. I think it would help them to understand a good woman's heart a little better. I could be wrong but I think Bishop Jakes adequately speaks for Men, the things they need and want etc.
For example he talks about things such as if a woman wants her man's love, if she truly wants to protect his heart like we all should (as his rib) then she must first earn his trust. Not just in the sense that she will never cheat on him but he has to trust her not to run and tell all of his business to her friends. Which I personally always thought was foolish anyway. That's his business, not theirs. He also has to trust that she won't change. Men like to know what they're getting.
My Great-grandma passed that down to her girls. She told us "You start out the way you can hold out." If you start a relationship one way such as catering to him, picking up after him and the like, don't change the game 3 months in. Now you're giving him dirty looks cause you don't wanna pick up his drawers. "Start out the way you can hold out."
But back to Bishop Jakes...He goes on to say how if a man's trust is violated he shuts down. We all know men communicate differently so he communicates how he feels by the fact that he will just shut down internally.
There is so much more to this book but I really wish I knew some men who'd read it just so I could get their opinion on it.
For instance: Did you know that apparently most men hate satin sheets? Bishop Jakes hilariously clarifies how men can't seem to get their ...purchase or balance on satin sheets, 8 )
If you've read it, pls share your thoughts.
No. I haven't read it yet. But it seems interesting that women should build a man's trust by insuring that she won't change. And that's really a trust that would be false in my view. If a man trusted that a woman would never change then he would be feeding off of a lie wouldn't he. Because we all change sometimes for the good and sometimes for the worst. But I think instead of trying to insure that you, as a woman will not change I think it's more important for men to understand that there's wisdom in knowing and accepting that we all change as we grow, learn and experience different things in life. If you don't change after all how can you expect to make progress spiritually and in this world.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that we all change and Bishop Jakes does make allowance for that. I think he's referring to the false front some people put up in the beginning of a relationship. Yes, because we all do change,...hopefully for the better. Anyone should expect that and accept it. Just don't pretend you're ok with his video game obsession initially only to thow a 'tude later cause now it's not so cute. Honest communication is should be part of the relationship's foundation.
DeleteThese are some good points family...We live in society where women a taught to how to get what they want out of a man...But they are never taught that part of getting what they want is giving the man in their lives what he wants...
ReplyDeleteYes, it should be GIVE & take. If we focus more on the giving a good person will give back. But that's provided you've laid a good foundation for the relationship first, Faith, friendship & honesty.
DeleteI think that you have a point; to get what we want from our men, as women we need to give men what they want as well. Because in the end if you truly love your mate you will delight in making them happy and obviously that would transfer to both sides of the equation. If you (the woman) aren't happy could it be because the two of you are not "feeding" one another, feeding the relationship by giving to one another the necessary time, acceptance, sacrifice, communication, affection etc. Likewise to know what your man wants means relating back to that subconscious part that is untrusting. Building that trust. But again it can not be illogical to believe that people won't change, moreso its a matter of choice in accepting the person as they are and being able to accept the best and worst when the person DOES inevitably change/grow.
ReplyDeletethat's true, we have to accept the person as they are. I wonder how many people can honestly say they accept a person wholly.
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